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Curvy in California

A Life Without Curves Is Just A Straight Line

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December 2013

12.31.2013 ~ Five Bad Habits to Drop in 2014

I’ve spent the last couple of months thinking about 2013, and all the truly great things that happened in my plus size world.  From my personal triumphs, such as the launch of Curvy in Kansas City and my feature in INK Magazine, to big wins for the plus size community in general, like Gabifresh’s definitive success with the launch of her own plus size bikinis over the summer and the introduction of the first plus size designer at New York Fashion Week.

But for all the good that has come out of the year, and all of the massive strides that we’ve made in our cause, I have to tell you that some people are making it really hard to move forward.

When I think about what I want to see happen for you and all the beautiful women that I see on a daily basis in the coming year, I’m saddened when I see so much hate, chiding, and general lack of support for plus size women from other plus size women!

Ladies, 2014 is knocking at the door, and next year, let’s try a little harder to do less of these five things that are definitely NOT helping uplift all the stunning plus size women of the world, including yourself…

1)      Stop with the fat shaming!  Fat shaming as a phenomenon really took off this year, with websites, Twitter pages, and Facebook pages popping up in droves.  Mostly created by your run-of-the-mill douche bags living in their mothers’ basements, these sites provided yet another layer of color to the filthy rainbow that is the Internet.  But the worst shaming I’ve seen this year has come from other plus size women.   Whether it was in news stories related to plus size women or fashion, on other blogs, or on retailer Facebook pages like Torrid’s, I’ve never seen so many women talking poorly about one another.   It’s one thing if something is not your idea of fashion, but stop saying that fat women should wear this or shouldn’t wear that.  If a curvy, beautiful woman wants to wear a bikini, or skinny jeans, or sleeveless shirts for crying out loud, let her do it and let her deal with how she feels about herself!

2)      And on the flip side, stop skinny shaming!  Skinny shaming is just as real a concept as fat shaming.  I’ll be honest, I’ve taken part in this.  Trust and believe, I’ve used the term “skinny bitch” at least a few times in my life.  But what I’m starting to realize is that I should see the beauty in women of ALL shapes and sizes, and that I can still be an advocate for plus size women while supporting the beauty of all the other women in the world as well.  In the end, it’s all about supporting and uplifting WOMEN as a whole.  I’m going to make a commitment in the new year to stop my skinny shaming habits…who will join me?

3)      Stop complaining and attacking!  Case in point – every now and again, I browse Torrid’s official Facebook page.  I like to see comments that women make nationally about the new lines to see if we need to make changes in our business at Torrid at Independence Center.  For the last few months I’ve been seeing more and more negative reactions to not only the lines that Torrid is putting out, but the models that they are using for campaigns.  I get it, it’s hard when a brand changes their strategy or their core audience, but here’s the deal…while you may be upset, that’s no reason to try and bring down other people.  If you don’t like the clothes being sold somewhere, shop elsewhere.  If you don’t like the models because you’re used to seeing different models, honestly, get over it.  While the models may not look like you, the fact is that there are millions of other women that do.  Are you really going to tell them that they’re not beautiful because they don’t look exactly like you?  I certainly hope not!

4)      Stop sitting on the sidelines!  Too many of us are sitting at home putting down others for trying something different, or even worse, beating OURSELVES up for not doing something out of our comfort zone!   If you do nothing else in the new year, try something new.  If it wasn’t for taking chances, I wouldn’t have met my husband, I wouldn’t have quit a job that I hated, I wouldn’t have started Curvy in Kansas City, and I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this message to you.  When we allow ourselves to take chances, we open up a world of possibilities that we never thought was possible before.  I don’t care if all you do is something as simple as switch from bootcut jeans to skinny jeans, or something as monumental as having a baby or taking an international journey, just do it!

5)      Stop doubting yourself!  So many women I’ve worked with have lost all confidence in themselves and have lost touch with the  gorgeous women that they are.  They have allowed themselves to believe the hype that their weight has anything to do with their beauty.  So, you gained a few pounds, that doesn’t change who you are or the heart and soul that your friends and loved ones see on a daily basis.  So you’re overweight….are you healthy?  Do you live your life with all the zest and joy that makes life worth living?  Do you have peace, and happiness, and love in your life?  If you said yes to all of the above than you are living with some of the best gifts in the world.  If you said no, take some time to soul search and realize that you have the power inside you to make the changes that you want to make.

I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year!  I’ll be ringing in the day with the love of my life, cheering on the Missouri Mavericks hockey team, then popping a bottle of bubbly at midnight as tradition demands.  I love you all very much and know that 2014 is going to be one of my best years yet.  Stay positive, stay happy, stay fabulous!

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12.21.2013 ~ Saturday Special ~ A Personal Moment….

I don’t do this too often on Curvy in Kansas City, but I’d like to take a small moment to share with you something a little personal.

You all have been an amazing support system for me over the last year.  While you may visit this site on occasion, or you just happened to stop by this once for a peek at something fun, I hope you know that as much confidence as you get from this blog, you also give to me.We are a wonderful community of women, and I can’t thank you enough for everything that you’ve done and said in support of Curvy in Kansas City!  You all ROCK!

With that being said, it’s been a tough couple of months for me.  With the holidays in full effect, work has definitely been on and poppin’!  I’m more tired than I’ve ever been working in the retail environment, but there was something that happened recently that really took the wind out of my sails.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Now, some of you might be thinking, “Well, that’s not so bad.”  And in truth, prostate cancer IS one of the most curable and treatable cancers around.  I thank the Lord every day for that.  What really got to me though was that this was the first time that I really had a gut-check moment – my parents aren’t indestructible.  They can hurt, they can experience pain, and at any time, they can get sick or have something terrible go wrong.

Ok, I’m thirty years old and I’m not a complete idiot.  I know that my parents are human, just like you and me.  But there was a small part of me that always believed that there was nothing that could take them down.  They’ve been my rock, my foundation, and they’ve always been two of the only people in this world who could bring me back from the brink.

My dad has a particular soft spot in my heart today.  As a child of divorced parents, I didn’t see my dad often growing up.  But as I’ve gotten older, our relationship has blossomed into something so completely special and dear to me.  With his diagnosis came the realization that I miss him more and more every day, and that I appreciate our time together now more than I ever have in my entire life.

This post is dedicated to my father.  I love you, Daddy.  You are a stronger and more loving man than you may ever give yourself credit for.  I was sooooo happy to spend some time with you this holiday season, and I will be praying for you and your imminent recovery!  I can’t wait to see you again soon!  Merry Christmas!!!!!!

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