Life. I want to talk about life for a quick minute here.
Three years ago, my life was so completely different than it is today. I was someone’s wife, I lived in a different state, I did a completely different job, and I felt completely different about who and what I was.
Two years ago, my life was so completely different than it is today. I was almost no longer someone’s wife, I was in the process of moving to a new state, I had no job, then a temp job, and I felt completely different about who and what I was.
One year ago, my life was so completely different than it is today. I was dating someone who I would eventually fall in love with, I had fairly successfully established a home in a new state, I had a good job, but not too many career goals, and I felt completely different about who and what I was.
Today, I am unabashedly single, I love my SoCal home, I have the same job, but my career and my goals are exploding with righteous success, and yes, I feel completely different about who and what I am.
Do you see a pattern here, my friends? Sure, some of you may see struggle. Sure, some of you may see tribulations. What I see, though, is change through growth…honest-to-goodness, positive change through growth.
Every year, we learn something new about ourselves. We experience something new, see something new, meet someone new, do something new. And after all this learning and seeing and doing, we come to a point where we realize that we can never be the same person we once were. Our life experience has fundamentally changed who we are.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking again lately about who I am, and also about how I sometimes so easily and so frequently “lose” myself in my life. I feel like I’ve spent an eternity re-discovering myself and I often wonder, do other people go through this too? Or am I just a completely ridiculous version of a human being?
The only conclusion I have been able to come to is this: you will wear the names of a thousand different people in this life before you rise one day comfortable in your own skin.
And so for me, I’ll just keep living, wearing those names, peeling off those layers, and one day, one day soon, hopefully I’ll look in the mirror, and finally find me standing there.